Monday, January 23, 2006
Shem Hotep ("I go in peace")
Dear (Creator) God...
Master, here I am again,
Pleading God to your glorious throne,
Asking Father for strength and grace-
For patience and guidance to carry on.
God I know you are already aware
Of the situations I'm in-
And God I pray for your intervention,
Lest I act on my own and sin.
I am thankful to you
For not only the countless ways you've made-
But also the unplayable price with your precious son
For my wretched soul, you paid.
Father, I pray that you search
Beneath the surface of my soul
And see my desire to be wholly thine,
And of my life, You take complete control.
But, oh God, so many things and forces
Are striving to pull me away from you;
And I love the pleasure-
More than I'm cognizant of what I Do!
I can only imagine how much this hurts
To see your son be such a hypocrite-
The more you bless him,
The worse he gets!
You have over the years kept his body
His family and the friends you've sent him-
You've delivered him out of countless perils,
Even when his chances of survival were slim.
There were many in situations as His
But not all of them came through-
And you've blessed him-
And in return look at what he continues to do!
Lust, double-mindedness, inner corruption
Continue to be fed in his spirit more and more.
Look at how he continues to behave-
Sin is in his heart's core.
God, I want to apologize
For by no means do you deserve this treatment-
After all, you are holy, perfect, and just,
Never having a reason to repent.
I am so sorry Father
For all of those times I turned my back on you,
For all of the pain I've caused,
For those things-sinful things- I continue to do;
For all of those times I didn't follow your order,
For all of those doubtful moments-
For those blatant rebellions,
And hours in my own selfish will I've spent.
I suppose you're tired of hearing this,
For I've pleaded to you before-
But God I am SICK of going around in circles-
This powerless state my soul abhors!
How am I to fight in the raging war
When I am losing the skirmish within myself?
How am I to be led by you, heading towards the right,
When I constantly want to go left?
God I realize now that I can't do what
You're asking me to do-
There's too many obstacles and stipulations-
But wait, I can do all things when I'm in you.
God, we both know, that's good information-
It helps to build my faith;
But what good is information going to be
When I am still going wholeheartedly
after those temptations- that carnal bait?
God I feel almost as a lost cause!
The harder I strive to do right and good,
The more I sin I become enthralled by
And the less I do what I know I should.
I read in your Holy Word that you
Become upset with those who know and do wrong-
And I'm a prime example- top of the list;
I can only be this way for so long!
I know soon you're going to put
An end to those things I exalt above you-
But God, you know, I'm striving to be RIGHT;
It's just easier to magnify "myself" and wrong do!
I thank you God that you are God,
For I doubt I would be so kind,
With someone like myself with a corrupt soul,
And hypocritical mind.
Had I gotten what I should have,
What was my just due-
Death would have been my unpardonable sentence-
But God, this moment, I'm here- and I thank you!
For although I am not where I should be,
You have allowed me to live;
My mind you continue to keep sane,
And a reasonable portion of health you give!
God, I often feel so bad,
For you have given me more than I can repay;
How can I ever say thank you enough?
Though corrupt, you granted me another day!
Another day to say "thank you"-
Another day to be better than I was yesterday-
Another day to draw closer to your will-
Another day to seek your face and pray!
Oh God I thank you!
For someone did not wake up to this Christmas day-
Someone did not see the close of another yuletide season-
For someone, you did not make a way!
God you know Satan is busy-
He wants to claim me for his Hell;
But God I belong to you,
My soul isn't for sale!
God I won't ask you to move Satan-
But I do ask God for more of you in my heart!
For once I obtain you,, then comes the power and strength-
And that is only the start!
Restore me God into fellowship with you
That I may know your will,
Help me God to be patient,
To wait on you, and be still.
I know that change does not happen quickly in my time,
Therefore God I'm seeking your guidance and skill-
For God I have made a mockery of you,
Claiming to be "yours" yet walk in my own will!
I don't want to keep you out
Of this vessel you molded and shaped with your hands;
For I am in need of your power and strength,
To journey throughout this carnal land!
Be patient master, just in case I'm slow to act-
Hold the door just a little longer, for me to pass through-
Thank you!- for I can see the end of this struggle-
It comes when I totally submit to you!
God it often feels as though you can't relate
To the desires and passions I feel-
What do you know about resisting lustful temptations?
What self did you have to kill?
I know it sounds bold
But it sometimes feels as though you're not near;
God, I wish you would rescue me from these thoughts-
And make your plan crystal-clear.
Obviously, all of this is happening for a reason-
Although at times that is difficult to believe-
Faith in you is easy to talk about,
Yet is difficult for the soul to conceive.
I believe you can do all things
Even change the hearts of m en-
Yet I know my heart requires more work;
I willingly engross it with sin.
Create in me, master, a clean heart-
And renew your divine sprit within me-
Wash me, cleanse my soul-
Purge me, prepare my soul for eternity.
Thank you God for working things out.
In you, my Savior, only do I invest my trust-
For in you, the Solid Rock- does all strength derive;
To make it, you, God, are a must!
Thank you God for the strength to endure,
For the peace of mind you give!
Thank you God for your enduring grace,
And your gift of salvation that I might live!
Thank you God for being there,
Always there whenever I call.
Thank you God for your abounding mercy
And for still wanting to be my all and all
Thank you God for loving a sinner
And the desire to make him whole!
Thank you God for the ability to call you Father-
And most of all for saving my soul...
Posted by Sawaad Amen Ra at 5:19 PM